This weekend, whilst flipping channels in a moment of pure vegetableness (vegetablocity? veggiousness?), I came across a program on the Space channel delightfully named: Countdown to Doomsday. It was a documentary of sorts about all the possible ways in which planet Earth, and its inhabitants, could be wiped out. There were the usual suspects: asteroid collision, global warming, nuclear war. For pure entertainment value they also threw in sci-fi scenarios such as alien invasion and machines taking over the planet. Quaint, but really fodder for the comic book convention crowd.
The one that really stood out was a scientific phenomenon know as a gamma-ray burst.
A gamma-what? Sounds like something out of Star Trek.
Actually, my red-shirted friend, gamma-ray bursts are a real cosmic occurrence that in my humble estimation are the mother and father of all doomsday scenarios. Lending legitimacy to this compelling cosmic catastrophe were NASA scientists, people in lab coats, science show hosts and a pantload of terrifying scientific data.
Here's the scoop: Gamma radiation pulses are commonly associated with nuclear detonation. During the cold war, the United States military launched satellites into orbit with specially equipped sensors used to detect possible nuclear weapons tests. The Scientists were alarmed to discover that not only did the devices detect multiple gamma ray pulses, none of them emanated from earth. Upon further investigation, researchers discovered that the pulses were coming from distant space. The pulses were in fact gamma-ray bursts emanating from deep space (cue dramatic music).
Big deal, right?
Wrong. Gamma-ray bursts are millions of times more powerful than a nuclear explosion and can travel exceedingly long distances almost instantaneously. Such an event in our galaxy has the potential to vaporize our atmosphere and consequently wipe out all life on the surface of the planet.
I know, holy crap!
As it turns out, gamma-ray bursts occur regularly in our universe. At least one every 24 hours. The good news, from what scientists understand of the phenomena, is that they don't seem to happen within our galaxy.
Whew, right?
Wrong again. Just because it hasn't happened here doesn't mean it won't. Gamma-ray bursts are not uncommon in the universe but occurrences are extremely rare within a galaxy. That said, estimates are that galactic gamma-ray bursts occur once every billion or so years. Scientists are busily combing the planet looking for some evidence that Earth have may already sustained an impact from a gamma-ray burst. The burning question (pardon the pun) is: are we on the top end of that billion, or the bottom?
This is one of those charming nuggets of scientific knowledge that is hard to sort out in our heads. What does one do with the notion that the planet could be wiped out before we had a chance to say 'What the f--'?
The one good thing about this information is that it shakes us loose from our self-centred view of the planet. Nature, which includes the universe, really doesn't give a rat's behind about our political leanings, who our friends are, how successful we've become, if we can throw a ball or stop a puck. It doesn't care who wins an argument, makes it to work on time, or has a piece of paper that says we're smart, dumb or more important than everyone else.
All we've got is this earth and each other, that's it. It's probably a good idea to get our priorities straight by taking a good hard look at what we're doing to our own backyard and to one another. Having a healthy respect for nature, and particularly our place in it, wouldn't hurt.
Besides, it's not like we have anywhere else to go, and the rest of the universe doesn't seem quite as pleasant.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Friday Time Waster Supreme: The Potty, Pools and Price Edition
It's Friday, it's a long weekend. Time to kick back, relax and enjoy the waning days of summer vacation. What better way to put your mind in veggie mode than this excellent collection of observations and commentary with absolutely zero nutritional value for your brain. It's my tribute to all the students going back to school, except for the fact that reading this blog will likely undo years of higher education.
Glad I could help.
Ever a city on the cusp of innovation, New Yorkers have found a new way to cool down this summer: dumpster diving. Quite literally, the city has taken dumpster containers and converted them into portable swimming pools. Talk about lemonade from lemons. I think the city of Montreal should do something similar. Instead of spending tax dollars on infrastructure, the next time a gaping hole opens in a city street I say fill it with sand and water and open a downtown beach. Even better, we could convert the Turcot interchange into a waterslide or the Big Owe into a mammoth hot tub.
I'd be willing to oversee a feasibility study for a mere $20 million.
***
Speaking of the roads, Transport Quebec is floating the idea of creating a radio station to report traffic conditions in the Montreal area. Not sure if they've thought of any call letters yet, but might I suggest CRED.
I'll give you moment to figure that one out.
***
Berlin tour guide Anna Haase has come up with a unique way to see the German capital. She is taking groups on a tour of the city's most notable toilets. The tour features loos ranging from the oldest and most primitive to the newest and most technical. Among the highlights of the toilet trek is an area referred to as the toilet block, which dates back to the late 19th century, and a trip to the Kaiser's fully restored bathroom at the Potsdamer Platz square.
Her M.O. is to draw attention to the lack of toilets for tour groups in Berlin, because nothing helps you forget about having to go quite like standing in a bathroom with twenty foreigners.
***
A study by the University of Colorado Denver Business School claims that attractive women face discrimination when applying for jobs where appearance was not seen as important. These included job titles like manager of research and development, director of finance, mechanical engineer and construction supervisor.
They were also overlooked for categories like director of security, hardware salesperson, prison guard and tow-truck driver.
In the study, photographs of both attractive women and men were shown to prospective employers. In most cases, the men were considered over the women across all sectors. Kind of a backwards form of social discrimination.
I get why someone would be upset about limited access managerial positions, but something tells me no matter what your gender, attractive is probably not an asset for prison guards.
***
Okay, so before you get all hot and bothered, Carey Price is the Canadiens goaltender. Deal with it. The $5.5 million dollar man will be around for the next two years so we can either sit and mope or suck it up and give him another chance. The Habs organization had to deal with an extremely unpopular reality. Keep Halak, the hero of the playoffs with a proven track record, or keep Price, a player that even Scotty Bowman is convinced will become an elite goaltender. In either case, the reality of a salary cap system meant they simply could not keep both. There was no way to please everyone, the decision is made. Time to move on.
***
Fictional movie title of the week, courtesy of Virgin radio's Breakfast Show with Cat and Lisa. The male version of Eat, Pray Love:
Run, Hide, Drink
Enjoy the long weekend.
Glad I could help.
Ever a city on the cusp of innovation, New Yorkers have found a new way to cool down this summer: dumpster diving. Quite literally, the city has taken dumpster containers and converted them into portable swimming pools. Talk about lemonade from lemons. I think the city of Montreal should do something similar. Instead of spending tax dollars on infrastructure, the next time a gaping hole opens in a city street I say fill it with sand and water and open a downtown beach. Even better, we could convert the Turcot interchange into a waterslide or the Big Owe into a mammoth hot tub.
I'd be willing to oversee a feasibility study for a mere $20 million.
***
Speaking of the roads, Transport Quebec is floating the idea of creating a radio station to report traffic conditions in the Montreal area. Not sure if they've thought of any call letters yet, but might I suggest CRED.
I'll give you moment to figure that one out.
***
Berlin tour guide Anna Haase has come up with a unique way to see the German capital. She is taking groups on a tour of the city's most notable toilets. The tour features loos ranging from the oldest and most primitive to the newest and most technical. Among the highlights of the toilet trek is an area referred to as the toilet block, which dates back to the late 19th century, and a trip to the Kaiser's fully restored bathroom at the Potsdamer Platz square.
Her M.O. is to draw attention to the lack of toilets for tour groups in Berlin, because nothing helps you forget about having to go quite like standing in a bathroom with twenty foreigners.
***
A study by the University of Colorado Denver Business School claims that attractive women face discrimination when applying for jobs where appearance was not seen as important. These included job titles like manager of research and development, director of finance, mechanical engineer and construction supervisor.
They were also overlooked for categories like director of security, hardware salesperson, prison guard and tow-truck driver.
In the study, photographs of both attractive women and men were shown to prospective employers. In most cases, the men were considered over the women across all sectors. Kind of a backwards form of social discrimination.
I get why someone would be upset about limited access managerial positions, but something tells me no matter what your gender, attractive is probably not an asset for prison guards.
***
Okay, so before you get all hot and bothered, Carey Price is the Canadiens goaltender. Deal with it. The $5.5 million dollar man will be around for the next two years so we can either sit and mope or suck it up and give him another chance. The Habs organization had to deal with an extremely unpopular reality. Keep Halak, the hero of the playoffs with a proven track record, or keep Price, a player that even Scotty Bowman is convinced will become an elite goaltender. In either case, the reality of a salary cap system meant they simply could not keep both. There was no way to please everyone, the decision is made. Time to move on.
***
Fictional movie title of the week, courtesy of Virgin radio's Breakfast Show with Cat and Lisa. The male version of Eat, Pray Love:
Run, Hide, Drink
Enjoy the long weekend.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
So really, how are you?
There is this quirk in the Canadian vernacular that speaks volumes about (or aboot) this nation. It isn't something unique to Canada, but it is found universally from coast to coast to coast. Our standard greeting, in one form or another...
How are you?
How'r ya doin'?
How's it goin'?
Ça va?
It's fair to say that in most cases this greeting is spoken purely out of rote. In all honesty, we're probably not that concerned about the other person's welfare or state of mind, but we still ask the question. There have been times when I got a response I hadn't expected, like 'not so good.' Those are moments that stop you in your tracks.
Sometimes we come upon friends and colleagues who are struggling and need a sympathetic ear. Then there are those who spend much of their living days finding some negative, no matter how trivial, to bemoan aloud to the first available person. These are the people that suck the joy out of even the most joyous occasion by dredging up some news item, or health condition, or conflict, or any other buzz-killing story just to hear themselves talk. I've never quite understood this obsession with finding the worst in any given situation. Sure, we all need to be practical and keep ourselves grounded from time to time, but we also need to free ourselves from our often self-imposed regimens to dance like fools and throw our heads back and laugh. Let's face it, life would be dreadfully dull if we didn't.
We often forget just how blessed we are. When we're sick we suddenly begin to appreciate how great it was to be healthy. When we are faced with a career crisis we miss that once boring routine. When we lose somebody close to us we realize just how important they were in our lives. I don't mean this to be a downer, it's just one of those facts of life. As Joni Mitchell so eloquently put 'you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.' I would also add: enjoy the good times, don't squander them looking for the negative, it knows where you live.
The dilemma from all this is that we often find ourselves reticent to ask that all too common question for fear that the person might actually give us a sincere answer, and we won't like it.
Canada has a long-standing tradition of social welfare. There are many around the world, particularly our neighbours to the south, and more than a few here at home, that think this tradition has not served us well. They believe it has led to a bloated government bureaucracy and opened our borders to freeloaders from poorer countries bringing with them foreign conflicts which can ultimately compromise our national security. There is some truth to this which cannot be denied.
The notion of a government's role as an agent of social care is not something that was invented by politicians. In Canada, at least, it was not borne out of revolution. It is an ideal drawn from a population that recognizes that a nation becomes stronger through mutual respect and support for one another. While we might complain about high taxation, socialized medicine and employment protection rife with problems, we are also an embarrassingly rich nation compared to many others in the world. My paycheque for one day would eclipse the salary of a ponderous number of people in the developing world, and mine is fairly average.
The thing is, caring costs. Be it in time or money or emotion. It's more than a flippant 'how'r ya doin', it is a commitment. And yes, with that comes all those seeking to manipulate your kindness for their own benefit. As is often the case, they are the ones who become the biggest deterrent to our willingness to lend a hand. But if we let them dictate the terms of kindness and generosity then who really wins?
I think at the end of the day I'd rather ask the question and live with the consequences than to look myself in the mirror and admit I wasn't even willing to risk caring. So too, as a nation, despite everything that is not working in our social care network, there are millions upon millions of stories worth celebrating with pride.
Just because we had the audacity to ask 'How are you?'
How are you?
How'r ya doin'?
How's it goin'?
Ça va?
It's fair to say that in most cases this greeting is spoken purely out of rote. In all honesty, we're probably not that concerned about the other person's welfare or state of mind, but we still ask the question. There have been times when I got a response I hadn't expected, like 'not so good.' Those are moments that stop you in your tracks.
Sometimes we come upon friends and colleagues who are struggling and need a sympathetic ear. Then there are those who spend much of their living days finding some negative, no matter how trivial, to bemoan aloud to the first available person. These are the people that suck the joy out of even the most joyous occasion by dredging up some news item, or health condition, or conflict, or any other buzz-killing story just to hear themselves talk. I've never quite understood this obsession with finding the worst in any given situation. Sure, we all need to be practical and keep ourselves grounded from time to time, but we also need to free ourselves from our often self-imposed regimens to dance like fools and throw our heads back and laugh. Let's face it, life would be dreadfully dull if we didn't.
We often forget just how blessed we are. When we're sick we suddenly begin to appreciate how great it was to be healthy. When we are faced with a career crisis we miss that once boring routine. When we lose somebody close to us we realize just how important they were in our lives. I don't mean this to be a downer, it's just one of those facts of life. As Joni Mitchell so eloquently put 'you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.' I would also add: enjoy the good times, don't squander them looking for the negative, it knows where you live.
The dilemma from all this is that we often find ourselves reticent to ask that all too common question for fear that the person might actually give us a sincere answer, and we won't like it.
Canada has a long-standing tradition of social welfare. There are many around the world, particularly our neighbours to the south, and more than a few here at home, that think this tradition has not served us well. They believe it has led to a bloated government bureaucracy and opened our borders to freeloaders from poorer countries bringing with them foreign conflicts which can ultimately compromise our national security. There is some truth to this which cannot be denied.
The notion of a government's role as an agent of social care is not something that was invented by politicians. In Canada, at least, it was not borne out of revolution. It is an ideal drawn from a population that recognizes that a nation becomes stronger through mutual respect and support for one another. While we might complain about high taxation, socialized medicine and employment protection rife with problems, we are also an embarrassingly rich nation compared to many others in the world. My paycheque for one day would eclipse the salary of a ponderous number of people in the developing world, and mine is fairly average.
The thing is, caring costs. Be it in time or money or emotion. It's more than a flippant 'how'r ya doin', it is a commitment. And yes, with that comes all those seeking to manipulate your kindness for their own benefit. As is often the case, they are the ones who become the biggest deterrent to our willingness to lend a hand. But if we let them dictate the terms of kindness and generosity then who really wins?
I think at the end of the day I'd rather ask the question and live with the consequences than to look myself in the mirror and admit I wasn't even willing to risk caring. So too, as a nation, despite everything that is not working in our social care network, there are millions upon millions of stories worth celebrating with pride.
Just because we had the audacity to ask 'How are you?'
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Low and Outside
"Not guilty, your honour."
Those were the words spoken by an aloof Roger Clemens as he appeared in U.S. Federal court on Monday. The seven-time Cy Young Award-winning pitcher is being accused of lying to a Congressional Committee investigating steroid use in professional baseball. In 2008, when questioned by the aforementioned committee, Clemons denied knowingly taking any performance enhancing drugs during his 24 years in the game. This despite key witnesses, including former trainer Brian McName and former team mate Andy Pettitte, testifying that Clemens regularly received injections of Human Growth Hormones (HGH).
So what?
Fans of Clemens loved him for what he could do on the ball field. Nicknamed 'Rocket' (not to be confused with Maurice Richard, who was truly 'The Rocket'), Clemens' abilities on the mound were remarkable. At the peak of his career he consistently led the league in wins, ERAs and strikeouts. He is one of only four pitchers in the history of baseball with over 4000 strikeouts.
Those that worked with or around Clemens recall a man who could be exceedingly charming and appreciative to fans, but also arrogant and entitled. In his appearance in court Monday he seemed unfazed by the gravity of the situation and appeared to enjoy the attention. He continued to sign autographs and pose for pictures as if his court date was a trip to the red carpet.
Again, so what?
Clemens, like many professional athletes and celebrities (I suppose he is both) are often expected by society to use their position responsibly. That is: not to lie, cheat or break the law. These are the unspoken rules of the game. Rules that are more often broken than adhered to. As a result, the media, fuelled by our own insatiable curiousity, splatter dirty headlines all over magazines, radios and televisions.
Where did these expectations come from? And why exactly would we want to look to celebrity to re-calibrate our moral compass?
It was thirteen years ago today that Princess Diana Spencer died in a car accident. The discussions about the water cooler today focussed on the impact of the loss and all of the good things she did in a tragically short life. She was also the centre of much controversy surrounding her tumultuous marriage to Prince Charles and less than warm relationship with the Royal Family. Many people still speak fondly of her physical beauty and her charm.
Much of what Diana accomplished in her tenure as Princess of Wales, and subsequent role in the media spotlight, was not unlike many of the accomplishments of the other Royals. Military service, raising awareness of social issues and fund raising are fundamental aspects of public service in the Royal family. But the other Royals were stiff, distant and had nowhere near the caché and glamour of Diana.
Diana's story was tragic in many ways, but one wonders if it is more so because of her beauty and elegance that had charmed a legion of followers. If that is true, then perhaps she was never truly understood for who she was and what she wanted to become. Diana was certainly no fool, she knew how to use her influence to further a cause, and fortunately for many, she chose the right causes. Like most of us though, she was not without flaws or above making poor choices. Unlike most of us her physical beauty and power of celebrity granted her significantly more forgiveness from the public than most others enjoy.
Whether it is correct or not, we often give celebrities the status of role model. We look for some form of inspiration and direction from their stories. The thing is, it is unreasonable for any one person to meet those expectations just as it is for ourselves. We don't give ourselves enough credit for what each of us can accomplish quietly behind the scenes. And let's face it, being in the public eye doesn't automatically qualify someone to be a font of wisdom. Just look at Paris Hilton.
If anything, Roger Clemens' story is a reminder that we need to chose our heroes carefully. In a lot of cases those heroes are people that nobody has heard of. Which is fine, because neither charm nor beauty nor throwing a baseball really fast are enough to solve this world's problems.
Those were the words spoken by an aloof Roger Clemens as he appeared in U.S. Federal court on Monday. The seven-time Cy Young Award-winning pitcher is being accused of lying to a Congressional Committee investigating steroid use in professional baseball. In 2008, when questioned by the aforementioned committee, Clemons denied knowingly taking any performance enhancing drugs during his 24 years in the game. This despite key witnesses, including former trainer Brian McName and former team mate Andy Pettitte, testifying that Clemens regularly received injections of Human Growth Hormones (HGH).
So what?
Fans of Clemens loved him for what he could do on the ball field. Nicknamed 'Rocket' (not to be confused with Maurice Richard, who was truly 'The Rocket'), Clemens' abilities on the mound were remarkable. At the peak of his career he consistently led the league in wins, ERAs and strikeouts. He is one of only four pitchers in the history of baseball with over 4000 strikeouts.
Those that worked with or around Clemens recall a man who could be exceedingly charming and appreciative to fans, but also arrogant and entitled. In his appearance in court Monday he seemed unfazed by the gravity of the situation and appeared to enjoy the attention. He continued to sign autographs and pose for pictures as if his court date was a trip to the red carpet.
Again, so what?
Clemens, like many professional athletes and celebrities (I suppose he is both) are often expected by society to use their position responsibly. That is: not to lie, cheat or break the law. These are the unspoken rules of the game. Rules that are more often broken than adhered to. As a result, the media, fuelled by our own insatiable curiousity, splatter dirty headlines all over magazines, radios and televisions.
Where did these expectations come from? And why exactly would we want to look to celebrity to re-calibrate our moral compass?
It was thirteen years ago today that Princess Diana Spencer died in a car accident. The discussions about the water cooler today focussed on the impact of the loss and all of the good things she did in a tragically short life. She was also the centre of much controversy surrounding her tumultuous marriage to Prince Charles and less than warm relationship with the Royal Family. Many people still speak fondly of her physical beauty and her charm.
Much of what Diana accomplished in her tenure as Princess of Wales, and subsequent role in the media spotlight, was not unlike many of the accomplishments of the other Royals. Military service, raising awareness of social issues and fund raising are fundamental aspects of public service in the Royal family. But the other Royals were stiff, distant and had nowhere near the caché and glamour of Diana.
Diana's story was tragic in many ways, but one wonders if it is more so because of her beauty and elegance that had charmed a legion of followers. If that is true, then perhaps she was never truly understood for who she was and what she wanted to become. Diana was certainly no fool, she knew how to use her influence to further a cause, and fortunately for many, she chose the right causes. Like most of us though, she was not without flaws or above making poor choices. Unlike most of us her physical beauty and power of celebrity granted her significantly more forgiveness from the public than most others enjoy.
Whether it is correct or not, we often give celebrities the status of role model. We look for some form of inspiration and direction from their stories. The thing is, it is unreasonable for any one person to meet those expectations just as it is for ourselves. We don't give ourselves enough credit for what each of us can accomplish quietly behind the scenes. And let's face it, being in the public eye doesn't automatically qualify someone to be a font of wisdom. Just look at Paris Hilton.
If anything, Roger Clemens' story is a reminder that we need to chose our heroes carefully. In a lot of cases those heroes are people that nobody has heard of. Which is fine, because neither charm nor beauty nor throwing a baseball really fast are enough to solve this world's problems.
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Friday Time Waster Supreme: The Singing Terrorist Edition
Hey kids! Ya, I know, not much blogging this week. Lucky sods. Well, there's always time to slap together a Friday blog ...(ahem) I mean carefully craft a masterful piece of writing. Well, you're reading it, so no need for the whitewash.
You probably heard about the RCMP arresting three suspects in an alleged terrorist plot to attack landmarks in the Ottawa capital region. One of the suspects, Khurram Syed, is a McGill University trained physician and a former contestant on Canadian Idol. Probably didn't think the doctor thing was going to work out.
I presume when he got to the question 'Are you, or have you ever been, a terrorist?' on his Idol application he ticked 'No'.
Devious little bastards those terrorists.
Has anyone checked Bieber's background?
***
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are officially single again. Their divorce was finalized this week. The media is already clambering to get details of the settlement, but honestly I don't really care. I think the larger question is Tiger's reputation and public image which is in tatters. Is there anything he can he do to make himself marketable again?
'Hi, I'm Tiger Woods for eHarmony' ...just a thought.
***
Montreal City Council has put the kibosh on installing air conditioning on city busses and Metros. While it sounds like a nice idea for passengers, councillors concluded that the financial cost of installing the units would be significant. Of course, it wasn't really the money that was the big issue, since City Hall can always find cash for the things it wants (usually in brown manilla envelopes), the decision had more to do with the environmental impact from increased greenhouse gas emissions.
Good for them, I'm sure they all felt better as they rode home from City Hall on public transit, or their Prius, to their eco-friendly, solar powered, zero-emission mansions.
***
The Hockey Summit wraps up today in the T-Dot with NHL and World Hockey executives, owners, officials and consultants spending the week in conference rooms discussing rule changes and plans for the future (I'm picturing a big table littered with empty coffee cups and a half finished box of Timbits).
One of the proposed changes was adding an off-ice referee who would call the game from a platform between the two penalty boxes. The refs concluded that the vantage point didn't provide a better perspective.
Maybe they should combine the two ideas: elevate the refs by attaching their skates to stilts. That way they can follow the action and get a better view. We could even recruit refs directly out of the Cirque du Soleil or Disney On Ice.
Or maybe we should just stick them all in a room with hi-def TVs, because whatever game their calling on the ice doesn't look anything like the one I watch at home.
***
British Airways is apologizing profusely to passengers on a flight from London to Hong Kong. While cruising over the North Sea the intercom suddenly played an automated message declaring that the plane was about to crash into the sea. Flight attendants responded quickly, assuring passengers that the message was played in error.
So, they actually have automated systems to inform you that you are about to crash. Who knew. I looked it up and it turns out that it's called the High-tech Overhead Low-Yield Final Urgent Communications Key system. I'll let you figure out the acronym.
Have a great weekend.
You probably heard about the RCMP arresting three suspects in an alleged terrorist plot to attack landmarks in the Ottawa capital region. One of the suspects, Khurram Syed, is a McGill University trained physician and a former contestant on Canadian Idol. Probably didn't think the doctor thing was going to work out.
I presume when he got to the question 'Are you, or have you ever been, a terrorist?' on his Idol application he ticked 'No'.
Devious little bastards those terrorists.
Has anyone checked Bieber's background?
***
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are officially single again. Their divorce was finalized this week. The media is already clambering to get details of the settlement, but honestly I don't really care. I think the larger question is Tiger's reputation and public image which is in tatters. Is there anything he can he do to make himself marketable again?
'Hi, I'm Tiger Woods for eHarmony' ...just a thought.
***
Montreal City Council has put the kibosh on installing air conditioning on city busses and Metros. While it sounds like a nice idea for passengers, councillors concluded that the financial cost of installing the units would be significant. Of course, it wasn't really the money that was the big issue, since City Hall can always find cash for the things it wants (usually in brown manilla envelopes), the decision had more to do with the environmental impact from increased greenhouse gas emissions.
Good for them, I'm sure they all felt better as they rode home from City Hall on public transit, or their Prius, to their eco-friendly, solar powered, zero-emission mansions.
***
The Hockey Summit wraps up today in the T-Dot with NHL and World Hockey executives, owners, officials and consultants spending the week in conference rooms discussing rule changes and plans for the future (I'm picturing a big table littered with empty coffee cups and a half finished box of Timbits).
One of the proposed changes was adding an off-ice referee who would call the game from a platform between the two penalty boxes. The refs concluded that the vantage point didn't provide a better perspective.
Maybe they should combine the two ideas: elevate the refs by attaching their skates to stilts. That way they can follow the action and get a better view. We could even recruit refs directly out of the Cirque du Soleil or Disney On Ice.
Or maybe we should just stick them all in a room with hi-def TVs, because whatever game their calling on the ice doesn't look anything like the one I watch at home.
***
British Airways is apologizing profusely to passengers on a flight from London to Hong Kong. While cruising over the North Sea the intercom suddenly played an automated message declaring that the plane was about to crash into the sea. Flight attendants responded quickly, assuring passengers that the message was played in error.
So, they actually have automated systems to inform you that you are about to crash. Who knew. I looked it up and it turns out that it's called the High-tech Overhead Low-Yield Final Urgent Communications Key system. I'll let you figure out the acronym.
Have a great weekend.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Friday Time Waster Supreme: The Deep Fried Brain Edition
Hey it's Friday, which means a) you made it through another work week or b) you are a student and this was your last week of freedom. If it's the latter, well in the words of Nelson Muntz: HA-HA! For the rest of us stuck in the coal mines, here's your weekly pant load of absurdity to get the weekend off to a good start.
You probably heard about the tug boat that dragged a barge into an abandoned oil well off the coast of Louisiana causing yet another oil spill. What you probably didn't know is that there are an estimated 27, 000 abandoned oil and natural gas wells in the Gulf of Mexico. That's just the Gulf, I don't have a statistic for the rest of the USA, or Canada, or the world for that matter. Sorry to be a killjoy, but there's just nothing funny about this fact.
***
Well, if you thought that was disturbing, here's something that is certain to give one pause. The city of Los Angeles is now facing a new and decidedly volatile threat. No, it's not the discovery of a new geological fault line, or potential mud slide, threat of rampant wildfires or a tsunami.
Ozzy Osbourne got his driver's license.
***
It turns out that nobody in Washington is buying Roger Clemens' claim that Andy Pettitte 'misremembered' witnessing him being injected with HGH by former trainer Brian McNamee. In 2008 Clemens testified before a Congressional inquiry that he had never once used steroids during his 24-year professional baseball career. Now he is being charged with obstruction of the U.S. Congress, making false statements and committing perjury.
Not sure what the Rocket has left as a defense except perhaps saying that he 'misspoke because he misrealized Congress miswanted a mishonest answer.'
Say it ain't so, Rog
***
Move over Krispy Kreme, there's a new artery-plugging snack in town. You've heard of deep fried Mars bars or maybe deep fried cola, but that's health food compared to the latest craze at Toronto's Canadian National Exhibition: yes kids, it's deep fried butter.
The Sweet Treats concession stand that produces the snack (and I use that term loosely) is trying to top last year's success: chocolate covered bacon. Owner of the stand, Vicky Skinkle (whose name I am not making up), informs us that:
“A lot of people were like ‘Ew, I don't know if I'd like it,' but when you explain it and they actually try it, it's like ‘Wow, who would have thought?' ”
She describes the taste of the meatball-sized grease nugget as salty-sweet, not unlike syrup on bacon.
Donations to the Heart and Stroke foundation can be made at heartandstroke.ca
***
Careful what you wear on your next visit to La Ronde. On a recent trip to the park a man by the name of Brunaud Moïse was approached by security who informed him that his shirt was offensive and he would either have to flip it inside out or be removed from the premises. The T-shirt featured an image of Bob Marley created from of a mosaic of marijuana leaves. It seems La Ronde's owner, Six Flags, has this policy against patrons wearing anything deemed by management to be 'not family-friendly.'
Moïse, who is black, said the move was racially motivated, a claim the park rejects because one of the security guards was also black. Frankly, I think it has more to do with minimum-wage rent-a-cops in serious need of smoking a fatty or two themselves. Besides, when you consider the potential profit from concession sales, you'd think the park would want to encourage the munchies.
***
From the 'things I don't care about' department: Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has been confirmed by sources as the new judge on American Idol. Let me also confirm, in case there was any doubt, that my youth is officially over.
Enjoy your weekend.
You probably heard about the tug boat that dragged a barge into an abandoned oil well off the coast of Louisiana causing yet another oil spill. What you probably didn't know is that there are an estimated 27, 000 abandoned oil and natural gas wells in the Gulf of Mexico. That's just the Gulf, I don't have a statistic for the rest of the USA, or Canada, or the world for that matter. Sorry to be a killjoy, but there's just nothing funny about this fact.
***
Well, if you thought that was disturbing, here's something that is certain to give one pause. The city of Los Angeles is now facing a new and decidedly volatile threat. No, it's not the discovery of a new geological fault line, or potential mud slide, threat of rampant wildfires or a tsunami.
Ozzy Osbourne got his driver's license.
***
It turns out that nobody in Washington is buying Roger Clemens' claim that Andy Pettitte 'misremembered' witnessing him being injected with HGH by former trainer Brian McNamee. In 2008 Clemens testified before a Congressional inquiry that he had never once used steroids during his 24-year professional baseball career. Now he is being charged with obstruction of the U.S. Congress, making false statements and committing perjury.
Not sure what the Rocket has left as a defense except perhaps saying that he 'misspoke because he misrealized Congress miswanted a mishonest answer.'
Say it ain't so, Rog
***
Move over Krispy Kreme, there's a new artery-plugging snack in town. You've heard of deep fried Mars bars or maybe deep fried cola, but that's health food compared to the latest craze at Toronto's Canadian National Exhibition: yes kids, it's deep fried butter.
The Sweet Treats concession stand that produces the snack (and I use that term loosely) is trying to top last year's success: chocolate covered bacon. Owner of the stand, Vicky Skinkle (whose name I am not making up), informs us that:
“A lot of people were like ‘Ew, I don't know if I'd like it,' but when you explain it and they actually try it, it's like ‘Wow, who would have thought?' ”
She describes the taste of the meatball-sized grease nugget as salty-sweet, not unlike syrup on bacon.
Donations to the Heart and Stroke foundation can be made at heartandstroke.ca
***
Careful what you wear on your next visit to La Ronde. On a recent trip to the park a man by the name of Brunaud Moïse was approached by security who informed him that his shirt was offensive and he would either have to flip it inside out or be removed from the premises. The T-shirt featured an image of Bob Marley created from of a mosaic of marijuana leaves. It seems La Ronde's owner, Six Flags, has this policy against patrons wearing anything deemed by management to be 'not family-friendly.'
Moïse, who is black, said the move was racially motivated, a claim the park rejects because one of the security guards was also black. Frankly, I think it has more to do with minimum-wage rent-a-cops in serious need of smoking a fatty or two themselves. Besides, when you consider the potential profit from concession sales, you'd think the park would want to encourage the munchies.
***
From the 'things I don't care about' department: Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has been confirmed by sources as the new judge on American Idol. Let me also confirm, in case there was any doubt, that my youth is officially over.
Enjoy your weekend.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
WiFi-natics
Attention terrified citizens, yet another thing to be worried about: WiFi is making you sick.
The latest scare-story bobbing up and down the news cycle effluent is parents claiming that WiFi transmissions in high schools are making their kids sick. Evidently the signals are causing headaches and disrupted sleep patterns among those presumed to be affected by the wireless internet transmissions.
Now, I'm a parent myself, and am more than familiar with the sensitivity that comes with the job. With every cough or change in behaviour we instantly think the worst. It's unavoidable. Most of us recognize that we can get a bit carried away at times and often find ourselves reigning in our emotions or biting our tongues because sometimes a cough is just a cough.
What bugs me though, is those few overzealous, single-minded, conclusion-leaping moms and dads who view just about every element of daily urban life as a potentially toxic or a government conspiracy. I'm not saying that there aren't some nasty things floating around our environment. Nor is our food supply always healthy and necessarily pristine. At the same time, if you were to believe the scare-mongers you'd be clothing your child in bubble wrap and a Hazmat suit.
Blaming WiFi for kids getting sick in school seems a bit of a stretch. I don't know if you know anything about teenagers, but headaches and lack of sleep are pretty common. I seem to recall the first time I ever experienced prolonged and repeated migraines was in high school, and trust me there was no WiFi back then.
Technology is often a convenient target of the fear peddlers. Particularly because it's new and relatively untested over an extended period of time. WiFi however is not really a new technology. It uses microwaves to transmit its signals, the same that are used by cell phones. We all remember the last scare about cell phones and brain tumors, and before you say 'a-ha! please note that repeated independent testing has yet to demonstrate a link.
Microwave transmissions have existed for an extremely long time, beginning with um, the universe, more recently: our own sun, more recently than that: radar and television.
You may also hear the term microwave radiation when we talk about exposure to WiFi or cell phone transmissions. This type of radiation is not to be confused with nuclear radiation which is completely different and extremely toxic. Radiation in this case simply refers to the dispersion of the electromagnetic waves which is essentially what microwaves are made of. Another more familiar form of radiation is heat. Now you know why they call them radiators.
It should also be noted that a good number of households already have WiFi, not to mention restaurants, airports, hotels, shopping malls and so forth.
If exposure WiFi has anything to do with students experiencing disrupted sleep patterns it is more likely because they use it to surf the web until 3 AM then get up at 6 AM to haul thirty pounds of books to school every day. I get a headache just thinking about it. And if we're going to blame WiFi in schools for health problems why not look at the aging facilities in our educational system. From some of the building I've been in it wouldn't surprise me to find mould spores or asbestos coated pipes and ceilings. Not to mention a building full of teenagers with questionable hygiene habits and compromised immune systems because they spent all of the previous night gawking at YouTube.
Could prolonged exposure to WiFi microwaves have potentially negative health effects? Maybe. But let's at least do the research first before we start pulling kids out of school and pointing fingers at technology and the system.
Anyway, gotta stop typing I'm starting to get a headache.
The latest scare-story bobbing up and down the news cycle effluent is parents claiming that WiFi transmissions in high schools are making their kids sick. Evidently the signals are causing headaches and disrupted sleep patterns among those presumed to be affected by the wireless internet transmissions.
Now, I'm a parent myself, and am more than familiar with the sensitivity that comes with the job. With every cough or change in behaviour we instantly think the worst. It's unavoidable. Most of us recognize that we can get a bit carried away at times and often find ourselves reigning in our emotions or biting our tongues because sometimes a cough is just a cough.
What bugs me though, is those few overzealous, single-minded, conclusion-leaping moms and dads who view just about every element of daily urban life as a potentially toxic or a government conspiracy. I'm not saying that there aren't some nasty things floating around our environment. Nor is our food supply always healthy and necessarily pristine. At the same time, if you were to believe the scare-mongers you'd be clothing your child in bubble wrap and a Hazmat suit.
Blaming WiFi for kids getting sick in school seems a bit of a stretch. I don't know if you know anything about teenagers, but headaches and lack of sleep are pretty common. I seem to recall the first time I ever experienced prolonged and repeated migraines was in high school, and trust me there was no WiFi back then.
Technology is often a convenient target of the fear peddlers. Particularly because it's new and relatively untested over an extended period of time. WiFi however is not really a new technology. It uses microwaves to transmit its signals, the same that are used by cell phones. We all remember the last scare about cell phones and brain tumors, and before you say 'a-ha! please note that repeated independent testing has yet to demonstrate a link.
Microwave transmissions have existed for an extremely long time, beginning with um, the universe, more recently: our own sun, more recently than that: radar and television.
You may also hear the term microwave radiation when we talk about exposure to WiFi or cell phone transmissions. This type of radiation is not to be confused with nuclear radiation which is completely different and extremely toxic. Radiation in this case simply refers to the dispersion of the electromagnetic waves which is essentially what microwaves are made of. Another more familiar form of radiation is heat. Now you know why they call them radiators.
It should also be noted that a good number of households already have WiFi, not to mention restaurants, airports, hotels, shopping malls and so forth.
If exposure WiFi has anything to do with students experiencing disrupted sleep patterns it is more likely because they use it to surf the web until 3 AM then get up at 6 AM to haul thirty pounds of books to school every day. I get a headache just thinking about it. And if we're going to blame WiFi in schools for health problems why not look at the aging facilities in our educational system. From some of the building I've been in it wouldn't surprise me to find mould spores or asbestos coated pipes and ceilings. Not to mention a building full of teenagers with questionable hygiene habits and compromised immune systems because they spent all of the previous night gawking at YouTube.
Could prolonged exposure to WiFi microwaves have potentially negative health effects? Maybe. But let's at least do the research first before we start pulling kids out of school and pointing fingers at technology and the system.
Anyway, gotta stop typing I'm starting to get a headache.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)