Friday, August 6, 2010

The Friday Time Waster Supreme: Back to the Salt Mines Edition

Fresh off two weeks of summer vacation bliss I'm back to suck up more of your valuable time with another collection of bizarre observations of a bizarre world. Just the tonic to add to your gin for the weekend.

From the theatre of weird connections, Naomi Campbell recently appeared as a witness at a war crimes tribunal for former Liberian president Charles Taylor. Supermodel testimony, interesting concept. I wonder if Gisele Bundchen is available for traffic court?

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This big bru-ha-ha with RIM's Blackberry security and middle-eastern countries is strangely ironic. Evidently Blackberrys use an encryption system that blocks third parties from hacking messages sent between devices. The Saudi government considers this a security threat because it they cannot monitor conversations among terrorist organizations. They are threatening to block the service. Here's a wacky idea, rather than sitting around monitoring these wild-eyed loons why not kick their arses out of your country?

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Memo to the Federal Liberal party: the Conservatives are flopping around Ottawa with self-inflicted bullet wounds in their feet and yet you still can't make a dent the polls. Maybe Iggy's cross-Canada bus tour ought to end at the front doors of a leadership convention.

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As if we needed more evidence that celebs believe any publicity is good publicity: troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan appears in the September issue of the guy-rag Maxim Magazine wearing only black underwear and a SCRAM bracelet. If you hadn't already guessed, SCRAM is an acronym for secure continuous remote alcohol monitor. Nothing says sexy like court-ordered substance abuse monitoring devices. Handcuffs are so passé.

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And finally some observations from our road trip to P.E.I...

  • New Brunswick has some of the best highways in the country, I particularly liked the 110 km/hour speed limit. It comes in handy when you hit that stretch of highway where the rest stops are about 400 km apart.
  • Speaking of rest stops, of you're going to build one with a Petro-Canada and a Tim Horton's on a major highway, it might be a good idea to have more than one bathroom. Yes I'm talking to you St. Antonin, Quebec.
     
  • Moncton's tourism business might improve significantly if drivers could figure out how to get in and out of the city.
     
  • At least once in your life you must drive across Confederation bridge ...'cause it's cool.
     
  • I'm old enough to say I've witnessed some pretty amazing technological innovations: home computers, fax machines, cell phones, hi-def television but my favourite gadget has got to be GPS. It's relatively expensive, exceedingly useful and, for anyone who has ever had to plan a long road trip, revolutionary.
     
  • Weirdest moment of the trip: running into my ex and her family in Edmundston.
     
  • Most memorable new experience: kayaking on the Northumberland strait with my bro.
     
  • Coolest moment: watching a shallow trickle of water change direction as the tide shifted from going out to coming back in.

Enjoy your weekend.

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