Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but this blog is so ... well okay, it is what it is. Just over a week left to find that perfect gift for you loved ones, lest they be disappointed on Christmas morn and resent you for the rest of the year. At least that's what the stores would like you to think. For the rest of us, we're just happy to have an excuse to party. With that in mind, here is yet another Friday Time Waster to put you in a festive mood for the holidays.
Return of The King, At Least Part of Him...
A crack team of scientists say they have positively identified the embalmed head of King Henri IV of France. The head vanished after revolutionaries robbed the graves of French kings in the royal basilica of Saint-Denis near Paris in 1793 during the French revolution. The head had apparently been passed down by generations of private collectors.
Known as "the good King Henry" and as "the green gallant," because of his attractiveness to women, Henri IV was one of the most popular French kings. That is until he was assassinated in Paris by a fanatic.
While it may be a great historical find, I'm still having a bit of an issue with private collectors trading this guys head for nearly three centuries.
Overheard at the French private collector's club: "I hear Pierre is on death's door, I wonder who gets the head?"
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It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like ... uh, What Time Is It?
A recent EKOS poll revealed that Canadian voters are not impressed with either of the major parties, or their leaders. Indifference might be the better word. On the one hand we've got Michael Ignatieff either changing his mind, shooting off a toe or generally blending into the wallpaper of Canadian politics, on the the other is Prime Minister Stephen Harper who despite Iggy's follies appears unable to convince voters to give his party a majority.
As if to confirm both leaders are out of step with the country, and perhaps reality, Harper's Holiday card features him and his family sitting on the front lawn of 24 Sussex in what looks to be autumn. Iggy's holiday photo features him and his wife at a BBQ sometime around mid-summer.
Maybe we should abandon these two yahoos at the side of the 401 in a snowstorm to see if they can get a handle on what Canadians want.
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Kloon
Listen carefully. Hear that sound? That is the sound of Brad Marchand's bones still resonating from Subban's hit last night. Ouch.
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Tell Me Where It Hurts, Scotty
Speaking of the Habs, a tip of the hat to Scott Gomez who addressed the local media concerning his recent 'lower body injury.' The latter term is used by coaching staff to divert the press, and presumably opposing players, from revealing the location of the actual injury.
Gomez began his press scrum on Tuesday by admitting how difficult it was to recover from a broken toe. He went on to tell the next reporter of the difficulty in recovering from a strained calf muscle, before wrapping up his charade by detailing his struggle with an injury to his arse.
Well if the hockey thing doesn't work out, at least he's got comedy. He might want to work on his elocution.
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Prochaine Arrêt, Parthenais...
If you're a frequent Metro rider you probably already know this. Police have identified the Green Line as having the highest number of crimes in the system, 541 in 2009. Not surprising considering it covers some of the highest traffic areas in the network. The police are refusing to specify which stations have the highest crime incidences of criminal acts, although they did acknowledge increased police presence at the problem areas.
The number of thefts in the Metro system appears to be on the rise, 210 were reported so far this year compared to a total of 175 for all of 2009. Nonetheless, the cops have refused to release further data for fear that it might tip off criminals to police strategy. Looking at the numbers, I think they may be on to you.
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Future Hall of Shame Coach
A scandal is abrew for the National Football League's New York Jets. You might have heard about this pinhead Sal Alosi the team's strength and conditioning coach. While on the sideline during a game, Alosi stuck out his knee to trip Miami Dolphin's Nolan Carroll during a punt return. Alosi was fined $25K by the league and suspended for the remainder of the year.
Now comes word that Alosi may have invited inactive players to form a blocking line to force Carroll into the path of the impending trip, which makes the transgression appear premeditated. Rumours are swirling in the press that the trip might have been part of a larger plot concocted by the team's coaching staff. According to the league it is the head coach's responsibility to make sure his staff and players are kept back from the sidelines during plays.
The Jets staff are in damage control, adding the words 'indefinite ban' to Alosi's suspension.
Meanwhile the press have dubbed the scandal 'Tripgate' prompting this appropriate tirade from my buddy Johnny Bertolo on Facebook:
Watergate, Spygate, Tripgate?! Could you f**king journalists use some Godd**n f**king imagination? For f**k's sake!
How's that anger management working for you Johnny?
Have a great weekend. Stay out of the malls if you can.
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