Here is an actual statement overheard on a national news broadcast.
"Health officials are warning the elderly and individuals who suffer from chronic illnesses that they are at high risk during the current heat wave. One way to avoid the high heat and humidity is to find someplace cool."
Every once in a while you find yourself reading a newspaper, or watching television, or surfing the net and you suddenly realize these incredibly pervasive forms of communication actually have nothing to say. It's sort of like this blog, except you don't have to pay for it.
At least newspapers have the right idea. If there's nothing to talk about they just print fewer pages. But television and radio stations have airtime to fill, so they do just about anything to keep their audiences attention. I've studied media, so I get that. Problem is, sometimes they just get lazy, and on occasion they think their audience isn't really paying attention when they slip some over-hyped filler into their broadcasts.
CTV News is probably the worst offender when it comes to no-news news reports. It's usually the last headline in the show's opener that grabs you with a tantalizing teaser:
"New research reveals a possible cure for diabetes."
Immediately you're hooked. So you sit through 29 minutes of blather about federal politicians sniping at one another, the sorry state of the economy and other assorted depressing news, clinging desperately to the hope of the miracle cure you are about to discover.
Then finally, the moment of truth.
The story is set up by our old friend Lloyd Robertson. This has to be good, he is after all the most trusted newscaster in Canada.
With a twinkle in his eye he trumpets: "New hope for diabetes patients..."
New hope? Before you said it was a cure. Well, new hope is good.
The story reveals that lab tests on Emu's using some unpronounceable chemical showed a 1% improvement in natural insulin production versus the placebo Emu's. Of course, we are reminded, these are early results, and tests probably won't be performed on humans for another twenty years. So don't count on a cure anytime soon, but researchers are optimistic.
That's it?! I just sat through a half hour of asinine Parliamentary analysis, grim economic reports, sixteen commercial breaks featuring the same stupid pickup truck ad, ten other depressing stories about war, death, mayhem and doom for this!
If you have to fill airtime, just get Brent Butt to do a two minute editorial about healthcare. We probably won't learn much, but it'll be entertaining.
In tomorrow's blog: new information that could save your life!
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