It's only midway through the year and I'm ready to call 2010 a flop. Between the toxic goo spewing from BP's broken oil well to the toxic vitriol spewing from Mel Gibson's mouth, this year has been a clunker. Sure there have been some bright spots, like the Habs unexpectedly long playoff run. Unfortunately the organization sucked all of the joy out of that story by trading away the author of that miracle tale.
Politically speaking, this year has also been a dud. Nothing new out of Ottawa to impress anyone. The same old cronyism, back stabbing and general he said-she said crapola. The whole Helena Guergis and Rahim Jaffer thing looked promising. Turns out they were using the Prime Ministers Office and Guergis's status as an MP to get lucrative contracts for Jaffer's company. Mmm, a good old fashioned political scandal. But even that was a bust. They were so lousy at covering their tracks that virtually everyone knew they were guilty, except perhaps Guergis and Jaffer whose denials in the face of overwhelming evidence borders on comical. It was over before it got really juicy.
The official opposition didn't seem much sharper. The Liberals have yet to define themselves under Michael Ignatieff, partly because Iggy is not sure who he wants to be. The guy changes his mind more than his underpants (which I presume is at least every day). You could almost predict what was coming next. Yes kids, a cross-Canada tour so that the leader of the official opposition can re-introduce himself to the country. It's okay Iggy, save yourself the bus fare, we actually know who you are. Unless you're planning to come to my house and mow the lawn it isn't gonna change what we think. A few hours after leaving Ottawa Iggy's bus broke down at the side of the road. Uh, Mr. Ignatieff, I have irony on line one...
Even some of the news stories coming out of the U.S. seem like a rehash of a movie from the 80s. Really, a Russian spy scandal? In 2010? Last time I checked the cold war was over back when Jesus Jones was still popular. What could Russian spies possibly learn that they couldn't find out by Googling? American conservatives continue to demonstrate their proclivity for outrageous proclamations and bald-faced hypocrisy. The Tea Party movement is classic GOP propaganda. A bunch of rich politicians using an historical reference that has absolutely no relevance to modern America. The movement's key spokesperson is Sarah Palin. Memo to Americans, she is a certified wing nut, the only country in the world who doesn't think so is you. By the way Tea Partisans, before you throw your proverbial tea in your proverbial harbor, bear in mind that the country is so deep in hock at the moment (due almost entirely to eight years of tax cuts while the country funded two wars overseas) you might need to sell it on eBay to pay the rent. Unfortunately almost all of your tea is owned by China, and I got a feeling they are not in a buying mood.
Here at home, the province has raised taxes to the hilt to cover all those services which we can't get access to anyway, the PQ are still babbling about sovereignty, and city hall still functions by virtue of wads of cash in brown envelopes (maybe virtue was a poor choice of word). Meanwhile travelling the city's expressways is like playing Russian roulette (there are those Russians again) and cars are disappearing into holes in St. Catherine street. I guess the good news for the city was the return of Formula 1. Good news if you don't mind the $15 million bill courtesy of your tax dollars. Woo-hoo, rich people in fast cars, where do I buy my ticket for next year?
Then again, who cares what the rest of the world is doing? I have an amazing family, work that I enjoy and it's summer, my favourite time of year. Vacation is just around the corner and in addition to taking time away from work I think I'll take some time off from the cynicism and depravity of the news cycle. I think all of us could use a little of that.
If I might make one suggestion before I tune out, maybe BP could cap the oil well with Mel Gibson's mouth. It's certainly big enough and it seems well accustomed to toxic spew.
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