Ask me no loaded questions

My teenage son has a penchant for asking random questions. In fact, he will often preface said inquiries with “just a random question, but…” It always makes me smile, mostly because those questions range from the trivial to the deeply profound. Which means you have to be prepared, at any given moment, to give an honest and thoughtful answer.

When we were kids, it seemed as if we were always asking questions. It was part of the natural curiosity of being a child and trying to figure out the world around us. On occasion our questions had no simple answer, leaving our parents to reply, “you’ll understand when you get older.”

For the most part, our folks were right. As adults, we do understand the world in much broader terms. What our parents didn't tell us was that the number of questions would multiply exponentially, and the answers would become substantially more elusive.

While it is true that adult questions are more complex, often times they are not even questions at all.

There is the loaded question: “Are you planning on showing up tonight?”
The no-win question: “What is wrong with you?”
The pre-selected answer question: “Are you going to eat that?”
The minefield question: “Why doesn’t he like me?”
The trap question: “Do you believe in God?”
The intellectual yard-stick question: “Have you read any of his novels?”

The older we get, the more we're asked questions that have nothing to do with extracting information and more to do with putting forth an agenda. Unfortunately the casualty of these kinds of inquiries is another thing our parents imparted to us: honesty.

Sure, we know the importance of honesty, but when faced with questions that bear a striking resemblance to a loaded cannon, how are we supposed to respond? (That was a rhetorical question).

We shouldn’t be forced to give an honest answer to a dishonest question. So, we filibuster, ignore, or try to change the subject.

Wouldn’t it be nice, though, if we could just take a vacation from diplomacy and give the answer these cruise-missile questions deserve?

“Actually, your haircut makes you look like a beagle.”
“He doesn’t like you because you’re annoying.”
“You didn’t see me at your party because I knew it would be dull and pretentious.”

Of course, we wouldn’t dare say such things. We might think it, but we wouldn’t say it.

More troublesome is the fact that all of the hot air being expended on questions that really have no answers takes us away from the really big questions that actually deserve answers.

Questions that ask why poverty, violence and injustice persist. Questions about how to save our deteriorating environment, or cure disease, or feed and house those in need. Of course these questions are not easy to answer, but surely our energy would be better spent trying, rather than finding ways to fish for answers that only serve to boost fragile egos.

Frankly, I’ll take my son’s random questions any day. At the very least, he wants nothing more than an honest answer.

Don't we all.