In the first blog of the Shroom Chronicle, I identified two components of life that I consider keys to keeping our collective lives on the rails. One was laughter, which is a tonic of immeasurable value in maintaining some semblance of sanity when the world around us seems beyond control. The other is love.
Seven years ago today, as I stood at the front of my local church, watching my beautiful bride-to-be walk towards me, one thing was certain, I was pretty sure I knew what love was. Today when I think back to that time, I realize that I only knew part of the story.
People are enamoured with romance. We get caught up in the passion of a new relationship, particularly ones with a compelling story attached. Romantic allegory permeates popular culture. There are stories of passion and beauty, the handsome prince and the beautiful princess. Tales that are rife with encounters of adversity, adventure and overcoming impossible odds. They end with sunsets and redemption, all culminating in a glorious wedding celebration. Everything is beautiful and perfect.
It sounds lovely, but I got news for you: that ain't love.
Actually, my wife and I have quite a romantic back story, although hardly fodder for a grand romantic novel, but then there is so much more to our love than that.
In our years together we have raised her son Josh to young adulthood. We brought our son Noah into the world. We have coped with more than one career crisis, the selling and purchase of a home and various other personal and professional challenges. It wasn't always difficult, but it wasn't always roses and sunshine either.
Some believe that when couples start to recognize the imperfections in one another, when their lives become a monotony of routine, it marks the beginning of a fading love. This is only true if you live in a fantasy world where everything must be beautiful and perfect all the time. The truth is that as the initial glow of a new relationship fades, that is when love begins to grow.
Seven years ago I thought I had love all figured out. Today I realize that the scope and depth of our love has grown far beyond anything I could have imagined. It doesn't concern itself with flaws and imperfections, which is good because I have quite a few. It isn't confined to perfect moments in time like tropical sunsets and fine dinners, not that we would say no to either.
It is in those everyday moments, when we find ways to support one another, console one another and forgive one another. It is those times when we act for one another without words, or expectation of recognition, in response to life's challenges. It is encouraging the other when they struggle with self doubt. It is knowing when to be patient, when to sacrifice, when to laugh and when the best remedy is a hug.
Love is looking below the surface and seeing a person's passions, hopes and dreams, and standing behind them and beside them through success and failure.
What makes love so much greater than a superficial perception of beauty and perfection, is that the more it is nurtured, in any given circumstance, the stronger and deeper it grows.
Today, on the seventh anniversary of our wedding, I know I am more in love with my wife than I have ever been before. I also know that there is still so much more to be discovered, and yes, there will be stumbles along the way. One thing I do know for sure is that my life is enriched because of her and is impossible to imagine without her.
That is what love can do, which to me, like my wife, is beautiful and perfect.
Happy anniversary Sweetie.
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