The Furrball Invasions

As a home-owner there are probably three things that will send chills down your spine. Dripping water (particularly if it is NOT related to plumbing), the smell of something burning and strange sounds inside your walls.

We, unfortunately, are the victims of the latter. Somehow, some way, some small furry creatures have found their way into the confines of our humble abode. It's not really clear how the little terrors breached the brick exterior of our fortress, but there they are.

I'm talking mice of course, not raccoons, squirrels or skunks, thank goodness.

Like most home-owners my reaction to the fur-ball invaders was to immediately declare war. Now, before all of the animal rights people start firing off emails, let me just clarify that this is humane warfare.

The battle is being fought on two fronts. First, we are fortifying our base. That is, we have scanned the exterior of the house, for any hole the size of a quarter, and sealed it. The second is to catch the little creatures and escort them, under protective custody, back to their own territory.

You might think it impossible to catch a mouse without: A) a tiny snapping death trap from hell, B) a fatal combination of toxic chemicals or, C) employing the services of a well-trained and highly skilled rodent control expert (also known as a cat).

The same company that makes all manner of quick-snapping, thumb-busting, mouse annihilators (appropriately named Victor) also makes a line of humane and effective live mouse traps. The traps are simple to use, and if you are not too squeamish about handling a wild mouse in a box, very effective.

So far we've caught four of the little critters and set them free in an environment more suited to their wildness. That way they can live out the rest of their lives as nature intended, or be instantly snapped up by a predator. Ah, the circle of life.

Oddly enough, it has given me an opportunity to teach my son a bit of respect for nature, and I'll admit, they are rather cute.

That said, we humans are not that far removed from our own sense of place in the food chain. If we were talking earwigs I can guarantee you the same considerations would not be afforded. In other words: bring on the napalm. The same would be true if those fuzzy little creatures started pouring out of the walls like a bad Hitchcock movie. In which case, respect for nature be damned, light up the flame-thrower it's go-time Mickey.

For now at least, our critter crisis is manageable. If the whiskered invaders get the message, then there is no need for an escalation. Then again, if things did get out of hand I would probably still opt for a more expensive but highly effective, and 100% natural, rodent capturing device (yes, I'm still talking about a cat).

For the sake of the me and the mice, let's hope it doesn't go that far.

I'd rather have a dog.