The recent trial of Canadian Armed Forces Col. Russell Williams was a difficult story to stomach. Williams was convicted of raping, torturing and then murdering two young women. The man led a dual life, in one a respected military commander and in the other, a cold-blooded killer.
A disturbing sidebar to this story came when it was learned that reporters covering the story were using Twitter to send regular updates of testimony. While it is the job of the media to cover these events, for the families of the victims, having details of the grim fate of their loved ones on display for the world through Twitter seems insensitive in the extreme.
Maybe it's just that I am getting older, but I find that society is trending away from its sense of human respect and dignity. I don't blame technology for this, but it has given people tacit permission to act and think in ways that one wouldn't do face to face. It's easy to write about someone in the safety of your home, a private corner of the workplace, school or mall, knowing that the person to whom you are speaking is not present or prepared to respond. You can craft your words to ensure maximum impact unlike a conversation that is more spontaneous, and lets face it, honest.
Facebook, which I admit to being A Fan, is the perfect example of this. The social networking space allows one to pick the perfect photo of themselves, list ideal qualities and likes, and then share their thoughts either to amuse, entertain, gripe or take a long-distance shot at someone. It's like having your own public relations person. Providing the world the image you want to project, rather than who you really are. Facebook doesn't always show your moments of ill-temper, impatience, or pettiness. That is, unless we want it to.
Social networks might be great for connecting with a multitude of people at once, but they shouldn't be confused with real social interaction. Keyboard-based communication, be it Facebook, Twitter or texting, is just not the same as hearing someone laugh, or seeing them frown, or sensing something lingering just beneath the surface, sadness, uncertainty, worry. There is no substitute for the touch of a hand, the darting of eyes, or a blush. All incredibly powerful tools of communication.
Therein lies the problem. Could it be that we are in danger of losing the very essence of what drives our sensitivity for others? By projecting an ideal image of ourselves through social media, and without benefit of perceptions made in the presence of another, it become far too easy to absolve ourselves from our sense of social responsibility. In real life, it's much harder to 'unfriend' somebody.
We don't have to look far to see how this is changing our awareness and sensitivity of the world. Visit you local mall, or downtown street, and count the number of people staring down at some handheld device. Surrounded by people, but also oblivious. And don't get me started about people reading their emails on the golf course.
On a recent trip to the park with my son, I noticed a father there with his three daughters. The girls were pleading with him to push them on the swings, or watch them slide, or spin them on a carousel. Instead, he sat on a park bench, eyes glued to his iPhone. I resolved then and there that I was not going to be that guy.
We often refer to the current era as the communications revolution, and yet we are doing anything but communicating. How is it that an email or text from someone kilometres away is somehow more important than what is happening right here and now? Rather than logging in to tell the world about an incredible moment, why not just enjoy it? Chances are those moments won't come again, and let's face it, no one wants to hear you gloat.
It's time to start disconnecting in order to reconnect. Rather than send an email, or a poke, or a text, why not drop by an old friend's home for a chat. We might find a world in need of our compassion and attention.
One that accepts us for who we are.
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