The Long Run

This is something of a first for me. I am making a public declaration of my pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. This is fancy talk for trying to lose weight and exercise more. Yeah, I know everybody wants to live better, but this is something of an imperative for me.

I don't like to make such public statements, it has never been my style. I don't think it serves any useful purpose to shout out bold resolutions, but this isn't a resolution. It's more like a confession. This has been a long and very personal struggle for me. The motivation for my candour is an attempt to help people understand, to relate to their own struggles and perhaps find some hope.

There are two reasons for wanting and needing to change my lifestyle.

The first is obvious. Being overweight, male and (dammit) middle-aged is tantamount to duck-taping a steak on my back and hopping into a shark tank. There is a history of high blood pressure in my family, which is something that will likely have to be treated with medication. Hypertension as the lab coat guys call it, is a leading cause of heart attack, stroke, renal failure and all kinds of other delightfully grim consequences. Thus far I've dealt with this knowledge by ignoring it through a process that involved esponging my mind with salty snacks and beer. While this technique may be soothing it turns out it has the opposite effect on the aforementioned risk factors.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I have an eating disorder, but there is a pattern to my eating habits that, to me, seems something of an obsession. I have always suspected that this was psychological. As noted in an earlier blog, over consumption of certain foods may actually lead to a form of dependency, similar to addiction. This is something I have not admitted to in the past. Even among the most enlightened thinkers, coming clean about any form of mental deficiency is often regarded as undermining the public's perception of your self control.

If food can be considered an addiction, it is one of the most difficult to overcome. A couple of years ago I saw a documentary program on obesity. A morbidly obese young man was in a desperate battle to lose over three hundred pounds. He said something that summed up the struggle of any person faced with an eating disorder. If you were a drug addict, it is possible to avoid the drug culture; if you were and alcoholic, you could avoid bars and the liquor store; but food is everywhere in this culture. Readily available, heavily advertised and often, for the least healthy foods, easily affordable.

While I don't face the struggles of that young man, nor those of anyone battling serious addictions, I do relate to his statement. For myself and many others there is no cure-all for maintaining a healthy weight, you can only manage the problem.

The second reason for pursuing a healthier lifestyle has to do with a personal passion that might surprise you. Many years ago, I had, for a time, gained control over my unhealthy tendencies. Through diet and exercise I lost sixty pounds. The weight loss alone did not provide any great epiphany, this came when I discovered I had a previously untapped passion for running.

For anyone who has led even a moderately sedentary life, the thought of running a kilometre, let alone five, is as appealing as root canal. Trying to understand a runner's perspective is equally baffling. The experience can be liberating, calming, even meditative. I know, it's messed up, but still true. One quality that I found most appealing was what I would describe as a sense of ownership. It was a recognition of the often unappreciated value of one's body and all of the remarkable capabilities it has.

Part of my goal is to get back to that place. I had kept up with my running for many years, but lately it has taken a back seat, or more accurately a sofa seat, to an unhealthy lifestyle. I realize I have a long way to go.

These reasons, however, are selfish ones. At the end of the day there is really only one motivation for treating my body with more respect. It is in the eyes of my young sons, incredible wife and all those who care and support me. At the risk of sounding maudlin, I owe it to them. Family and friends are among many amazingly rich gifts of this life and I would be a fool to squander them.

Besides, I have so many more useless blogs to clog up the net, and these suckers don't write themselves.

I promise not to bore you with progress reports or set backs, but I will apologize in advance for my crankiness.